Presenter Spotlight: Mie Neko

Mie Neko is a rope switch from Germany, whose approach draws inspiration from a variety of contexts—dance and kink as well as semenawa, body manipulation, and use of power dynamics. In her teachings, she's committed to sharing her expertise as a smaller rigger, emphasizing bottom education, safety, and the art of establishing emotional connections through ropes.

This month, Daruma is thrilled to welcome Mie, together with Nikoleta Ginger, for a two-part weekend workshop covering torsions, backbends, and body manipulation, an evening workshop on tenshi, as well as a performance! 

Ahead of the workshop, Mie shared more about finding her tying voice, softness as a foundation for building rope scenes, and tricks for practicing movement sequences even without a model. This interview has been condensed and edited.

You began your rope journey solely as a model for a few years before starting to tie. What inspired you to begin tying? 

My first rope experience was as a model, and it was so overwhelmingly positive that I immediately decided I wanted to give this amazing feeling back to the people close to me. Early in my rope journey, I knew I would be a rope switch. Since I was underage at the time, I had to wait until I could finally get proper rope education, attend workshops, and participate in other events. I attended my very first rope workshop just a few weeks after turning 18, where I participated as a rigger.

I started a monthly rope jam with friends especially aimed at young people (starting from age 18), as we were missing such a space in our area. In October 2017, I attended my first Eurix, which was transformative. I began to understand that ropes and Shibari were not just about geeking out over knots and patterns, but about exploring the multitude of emotions and styles that can lead to intense sessions. It was both a wake-up call and a reminder of why I initially started tying. From then on, I’ve attended every Eurix and tried to bring some of its atmosphere back into my community and my rope connections, though it's challenging to describe something others have never experienced.

Everything changed when I met Ropunawa, Sawa Shibari, and Soptik, all within a short period. These three people had a huge influence on my development as a rope model and later as a rigger. They provided a space for me to explore the deepest desires of my submissive side, and through experiencing their energy, I wanted to learn the skillset that allowed them to touch something so deep inside me. They evolved from friends and lovers into my teachers. Over time, I built important connections with people like Tamandua and Kirigami, who shared glimpses of their rope styles and greatly inspired me.

What are some of the “ingredients” that you’ve brought from these teachers’ approaches into your own?

From Ropunawa, creativity. From Soptik, sadism. Slowness, from Tamandua. Body manipulation from Kirigami. And from Dolph, dynamic.

Can you remember a moment where you started to find your “voice” in tying?

The moment when I was starting a simple session with one of my partners and I wasn’t afraid of being in the dominant position anymore. I really felt like I achieved a milestone.

Initially, I was very insecure as a female rigger, searching for role models to help me incorporate feminine dominant energy into the skills I was developing. Gradually, I grew into this role, almost without noticing, until one day I realized I felt quite comfortable tying. To this day, my rigger-self is continually inspired by my model-self. I learn the most when I am being tied, and I wouldn't be the rigger I am today without having been tied by so many amazing people in the past.

You’ve written elsewhere about always starting with softness—but how softness or gentleness can open the door to other dynamics, like power exchange or sadism. Tell me more.

Sadism and dominance always seemed to me to be something brutal, a dynamic full of tension, requiring a lot of strength. The idea that "if you are the top, you need to overpower and show who is in charge" never resonated with me as a rather small woman. I knew I enjoyed making people suffer for me, which for me is the perfect blend of sadism and dominance, but I struggled to find an authentic way to embody this.

I noticed during the sessions where I was the model that when I became soft, it was much easier for me to receive the other person's sadism. When I tensed up, pain became unbearable, positions unmanageable, and panic set in. So, I started seeking this softness in my models. Softness is the number one skill I look for in a rope partner. By soft, I don’t mean limp; it’s not just a physical state but especially a mental one.

When I began focusing on the softness in my partners, they reflected it back to me. I realized that I couldn't ask for softness while being tense myself. If I remain soft, I will receive more softness in return. Soft means staying flexible with whatever comes. Soft means being shapeable, adaptable, and trustworthy. When I am soft as a rigger, I create an environment where my models can also be soft. In this state, they can endure more and be shaped the way I want them to be.

Photo by Fl4nkey

If you could wave a magic wand, what’s one bad habit you observe in the current rope scene that you wish could disappear?

I want to ensure that everyone feels safe enough to express their desires, bodies, and kinks without fear of judgment or mistreatment. I aim to dismantle outdated frameworks that serve no one, and to provide the freedom for individuals to truly discover who they want to be and what kind of rope work they want to engage in—free from gatekeeping of specific styles, approaches, or rigging techniques.

You bring rope into theatre and club culture—for example, you’ve taught shibari at Schauspiel Köln, and have performed at parties that blend circus, kink and techno. What changes in these contexts?

Where I come from, I notice that people who are not part of the rope community or even the broader BDSM community are often more drawn to the aesthetics, the spectacular suspensions, and the playful dynamics I share with my partners—and can get overwhelmed when I fully embrace my more sadistic side. But this overlooks, or chooses to ignore, that Shibari has its roots in Japanese porn history. Although we in the Western world have adapted it to serve our desires, I strive to remind people that eroticism and sadism have their rightful place in Shibari.

On the other hand, I must admit that people, especially at parties, sometimes tend to oversexualize a session. For me, there is a clear distinction between eroticism and sex, and sex is not part of my Shibari practice. But this is not specific to Shibari—it’s part of a broader problem of how people perceive intimate interactions between two FLINTA* individuals. That’s the reason why I feel much safer performing in spaces that aim to be safer spaces for those individuals.

Your workshop at Daruma this summer focuses on moving and shaping the body—on the floor, in the air, and especially in torsion and backbends. What are you most excited about sharing with those attending?

I'm especially excited to share deeper insights into how the body works and how this knowledge can help us and our partners move more fluidly, with less physical effort, maintaining the flow of two bodies moving together. This knowledge is particularly crucial for those with height or weight differences between the rigger and model. 

I want participants to appreciate the three-dimensional perspective of the ties we create and understand that everything looks and often feels better when we create soft, curved shapes rather than tying as if we were working with square-shaped human beings. Over the years, I've collected many tips and tricks–I'm eager to share this information with the people in my class.

Photo by Fl4nkey

What’s one tip, trick or exercise you’d share with those who can’t join in person?

You have all the knowledge of moving bodies within you, despite the obvious differences in individual bodies, which necessitate adapting this knowledge for each new person. Simply use your own body to analyze movement sequences, practicing them on your own without using your hands for stabilization. For example, if you want to move someone from lying down to sitting up, try it: how do you bring yourself from laying to sitting without using your hands? The same applies for a tied partner.

You emphasize that modeling or bottoming in rope is just as much a skill as tying. What can people joining your workshop as a model expect?

I want them to experience that their body is not a burden and that doing less sometimes is more. Especially in dynamic tying, they are THE source of inspiration for their riggers, so we’ll explore how models can bring their intentions into the session. And obviously we’ll talk about what we, as models, can do to endure the shapes we’re in, and how we stay shapeable.

Last one: what’s an impossible place you’d love to tie or make a performance?

I would love to tie under water with unlimited oxygen surrounded by manta rays and whales.